Published October 6, 2009

Shelia Shares....
"The Dating Game"

People have told me several times, "I can be a Christian and date a non-Christian man or woman."

My response is always, "Don't try it."

Bottom line is that you will marry someone you date. Why date a non-Christian, getting your and their emotions involved in a relationship which should not be? The Bible tells us not to bind ourselves to someone who does not have our beliefs. God didn't put that instruction in the Bible to spoil our fun, but rather as a guideline for a life which is good and pleasant.

The most common argument which I have heard is, "I can date someone and win them to Christ." I love the thought, but in reality that is not a frequent occurrence.

I watched a show on TV about piranhas. The moment a bit of meat gets in the water with the piranha, it is eaten. In fact, if a person gets in the water with a piranha, the main priority better be getting out. Swimming out of reach is key. The thought of changing the piranha's mind isn't there. Survival is all that counts.

It's not that you don't want to reform the piranha. It's just not a viable option.

When we are bound to a non-Christian, our intentions might be good. However, just surviving with our beliefs intact could be difficult. Being attacked, outright or in small gradual ways, tends to undermine those basic beliefs. And, yes, people who think they can make this work come with a whole bagful of excuses and wishful thinking – but it's usually nothing more than that.

Why date a non-Christian and take the chance? Stay out of the water with the piranhas. Wait. Ask God for the right partner. Pray for your future partner. Pray that God will make you into the person He wants you to be. God has the perfect plan. Believe that He cares for you enough to supply you with the perfect partner in His time.

Recently a young pastor told me, "I'd rather miss the right one [woman] than settle for the wrong one." There is much wisdom in that statement. (And, I believe God will make you aware of the right marriage partner in His time, so you don't miss His blessing of that relationship.)

If you are a Christian and marry a Christian, both of you will continue to grow closer toward Christ, as well as closer to each other. That's the way the Lord wants it. Why take a chance on missing out on that kind of blessing?!

- Shelia

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