Published Sept. 8, 2009

Shelia Shares....
"The Wedding Letter"

The following was written to a friend as she prepared for her wedding day. The advice is pretty basic and might apply to others who get this newsletter.

- Shelia

"I've been thinking of you over the last weeks as you prepare for the wedding and marriage. I trust God will give you His peace and strength and calmness. Enjoy the preparation and savor each moment in these days. Enjoy seeing family and friends on your wedding day and celebrate God's goodness in giving you and your mate each other.

"As the marriage progresses, look to God for answers to the little issues that will arise. In parenting, I tried to follow advice I had heard. ‘Pick your battles.' I think the same advice applies to marriage. Some things matter in the long run. Be willing to stand up for those things. However, after a week, some things will not matter at all. Deal with those disappointments and frustrations and get over it. Some days you love and some days you remember your commitment. As I am sure you know, the feelings aren't going to hold a marriage together. It is the commitment that provides a solid basis for marriage — surrounded by God's principles for living with others. Enjoy the good days and depend on God's strength to get you through those days that aren't so good (surely they will be fewer!).

"Remember, too, that you are still an individual. Although you will want to do things together as a couple, don't hesitate to get together with the girls and go window shopping, play table games or eat out. Just because you are married, doesn't mean you don't have an individual life. Taking time away, makes the time together as a couple sweeter. It took me a few years to learn this. But, Paul and I are both happier when we have our separate space occasionally. And, going out with other friends without Paul doesn't make me a bad wife. Actually, it makes us both happier. (I enjoy being around people and going places much more than Paul does.) As women, we do need other women much more than men seem to feel the need to be around other men.

"I wish you joy as you prepare for your wedding and work at your marriage blessed by God."

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